The popcorn saga is much longer than just today. A number of people enjoy popcorn at work, it appears. And one person – the writer of the note below – feels that this amounts to cruel and unusual punishment. This note was posted in the staff kitchen months ago, and I have only now gotten around to sharing it.
I could only get a quick and blurry camera-phone picture of it before someone else walked in. I wish you could read it verbatim.
First of all, it is typed (to preserve the identity of the ranter), and printed on yellow paper. In the first paragraph the ranter informs us that she has a terrible reaction to the fumes resulting from the popcorn, and that she has to bring her asthma inhaler to overcome the torture of breathing. She then elaborates that it is not only the smell of popcorn, but the offense of BURNING the popcorn in the microwave that is inexcusable. I mean, how could you not set the microwave to a reasonable time?!
Becoming legible, the note reads “This doesn’t mean you can set a high powered microwave for 4 minutes and disappear. Four or more minutes will probably burn the popcorn, and may even start a FIRE!!”
“I promise that I won’t cook fish, cabbage, or strong onions, if I don’t have to continue to breathe burning popcorn fumes, and my lungs and brain will thank you.” This is the most amusing paragraph I have ever read. I still laugh out loud when I read it.
"Have a nice day :)
And
For the person who keeps throwing these in the trash, you are obviously very uncaring and selfish :("
Response (written in sharpie): "I apologize for the burnt popcorn, it was an accident. But these notes are uncalled for. Mistakes and accidents happen. Please be more tolerant."
What about the office setting makes otherwise sane people go crazy? Granted, there are supporting arguments for both the popcorn-lover and the suffering asthmatic. But is a piece of yellow paper in the staff lounge table the proper forum for discussing this issue? The underlying tones in each message betray so much frustration and animosity ... yet these two people are co-workers.
I swear this stuff hurts the collective office. There is now a note on the water dispenser telling me how to dispense my water so as to not contaminate it with my germs. There are rules about how to leave my food in the fridge, and when to label it, and how it might be thrown out if I'm delinquent in my duties.
I can't express exactly how I feel, but it certainly isn't freedom. I feel watched, monitored, as if someone is waiting for me to screw up so they can unleash their wrath on me via a strongly worded letter (typed on yellow paper). That's not an environment I like to work in.
*deep breath in*
*let it out*
Thank you for letting me rant. I feel better.
