Christmas Music

I have a fever, and the only prescription* is more christmas music.

This should come as a shock to most anybody who knows me. I usually channel Ebenezer Scrooge until mid-December, but something has come over me this season. I just can't shake my need for christmas music lately.

It all started when I was getting a cavity filled. Yeah. Bear with me. I should first explain that I get my dental care from the student dental clinic. If you have more time than you have money (i.e. if you are a heavily indebted graduate student), you can get excellent dental care for a song**. The only catch is that you must throw away 3 hours (minimum) of your life while the student works super-slow and stops occasionally to be checked by their supervisor. During these 3 hours, there is nothing to do but grunt in response to the student's small talk, stare deeply into the fluorescent lights and listen to an endless loop of Muzak. I hate that stuff, and so I was delighted at the prospect of hearing something a little less painful - christmas music.

Here's the problem: there was no christmas music, just the same old easy listening. I had let myself get so excited about hearing christmas music that now I had the itch and no way to scratch it!

So for the last week or so, I have been scrambling around to satisfy my urge. I found that I'm not simply looking for any christmas music (there's a lot of junk out there). It turns out I'm lookin' for The Classics...Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald, and others.

Now, if only there were a place to hear a narrow sub-genre of music 24 hours a day at no cost to me...

Enter Pandora Radio. It is a website that provides a free stream of music tailored to your exact tastes. You sign in (free), type in a few songs or artists that exemplify the type of music you want to hear, and it reads your mind. It searches an enormous library of music, and starts playing song after song of music with "similar musical qualities." As you listen, you can fine-tune your new radio station by giving songs a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. It learns more, and provides "better" music. So, now I have free streaming christmas music. Jealous?

You can listen to my radio too, if you want. Just click here. Go nuts! Get your fill! Remember that the holiday season*** is the only 2-month-long chance to binge on food, merchandise, tacky sweaters, and happy happy christmas music. Soon enough the mess of ugly decorations and wasteful wrapping paper will give way to a cold, dim, and depressing winter.

*"I gotta fever, and the only prescription ... is more cowbell!"

**or for a $20 bill if you can't carry a tune. All kidding aside, I haven't paid more than $30 for a single visit yet.

***I call it the "holiday season" on purpose, in an attempt to separate everything I resent about the commercialization of the holidays from the more sacred Christmas.