Justin Timberlake parodies Beyonce on Saturday Night Live while our economy tanks, and I worry about tween girls spraining their ankles. Besides being immediately outdated upon construction, what is the significance of this sentence? Allow me to metaphorize the Perfect Storm at hand.
High Seas
These are hard economic times. Stocks are falling, and women are rising. No, this is not a reference to Hilary Clinton’s rumored nomination as Secretary of State. Women are literally getting taller with the help of a 4-6 inch heel. Through a strange quirk of history the average height of stilettos increases as the economy declines. Don’t believe me? The Early Show would never lie to you*.
The Sou’wester
Who is Sasha Fierce? Turns out she is Beyonce. Like a phoenix from the ashes of Destiny’s Child, Beyonce is re-re-inventing herself for another bid at fame. To mark the occasion she has created an alter ego, signifying that she is both unlike Old Beyonce and a lot like Garth Brooks. She even has a new single, Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). How very sad; pathetic ev-en. We have seen these stunts before – you weren’t fooling anyone Mr. Hyde – and by now our society surely has too much self-respect be duped again. This will never work out for Beyonce…right??
The Nore’easter
Saturday Night Live is crazy popular right now. This is no shock. SNL, the Daily Show and other late night outfits pay their mortgages during election season. Want to hear what Lorne Michaels has to say about this phenomenon? Pop some Ritalin and watch this Charlie Rose exclusive. If you don’t have a 35 minute attention span, just skip to minutes 27:29 – 29:00. In addition to the common "bump" in viewership every fourth November, this election season was one of those rare times when a politician (Sarah Palin) must compete with her own impersonator (Tina Fey) for attention.
The Lynchpin
The election is won, the winds of Change are sweeping through a very cold November, and SNL needs desperately to give me a reason to show up to church underslept. This brings me to Justin Timberlake, the center of it all. His Saturday walk-on performance was an instant hit, the likes of which we have not seen since…his last performance on Saturday Night Live**. Last week’s show saw Justin clad in a black leotard and heels, pretending to be a back-up dancer for the musical guest of the night. Beyonce Knowles, enter stage right*.
The skit went viral immediately – your coworker probably showed you the video on Monday morning – despite early attempts by NBC to litigate into submission every Youtuber who posted the video. But the aggregate will of Youtube is too great, and conspiracy theories were starting to make their way around the inter-nets. Or perhaps NBC and Justin struck a deal. The video remains on Youtube in some form, but chances are that my video embed* won’t work an hour after I post it. So like moths to the flame we are drawn first to the parody video, then to the real music video, and lastly to imitate what we see.
Step One: Watch the SNL video
Step Two: Watch the real music video in awe as Beyonce defies physics in 6 inch heels***. My point is illustrated by minute 1:28 to 1:40.
Step Three: Make her open the box. Woops! Wrong video**.
The Victims
Won’ someone please think of the children?! More specifically, I am worried about our newest little demographic, the tweens (preadolescents). Looking into the future, the headlines clearly read Girls in Mom's Heels Emulate Beyonce,
Conclusion
You have likely invested half an hour of your life consuming a blog rife with embedded videos, wikipedia references, pop culture buzzwords, misused punctuation, pompous**** vocabulary and occasional nonwords. You may feel a little emptier and a little older for reading it, and you are certainly no better off. But you were entertained.
* If the videos don’t work,
google: “hard times, high heels” video for The Early Show
google: "Gov. Palin Cold Open" for Sarah Palin on SNL
google: beyonce timberlake youtube for the viral video
** Too raunchy for Mom & Dad, but every college student in the
*** She hates physics too, dear.
**** I had to look up “pompous” while writing to ensure I was using it correctly. I have a problem, and admitting that is the first step to getting better.
Wordfind! How many Pop Culture words can you find? Famous names count too!
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